It’s Not a Hangover Cure

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Since 7000 BC, man developed a relationship with a combination of fermented grain, fruit juice and honey. Overindulging in this mixture of ingredients caused their bodies to react differently, mixing pleasure during the evening and pain the next morning. While there are plenty of words to describe the period associated with the comfort, like “sloshed,” “smashed,” “plastered” or “blotto,” there is only one word to describe the pain of the next morning: hangover.

I have a millennial cousin, Tommy, who likes to have a drink or two (or three), resulting in a tough next morning. Recently, he told me about a new supplement he was using to help him feel better the following day. “This really works,” he told me. “I drink it either before or during that night and I swear, I feel better the next day.”

My first thoughts immediately drifted to any of Ralph Kramden’s hare-brained schemes, like “Wallpaper that glows in the dark.” With all that is wrong with the world today, do we really need another hangover cure?

“It’s not a hangover cure,” he insisted. “It just helps you recover the next day.”

Sure, Tommy.

“This is all-natural stuff. It was developed by a friend of mine,” he continued.

Yeah, that really convinced me.

“You should talk to him; he can explain it better than I can.”

I hope so.

Chris Picerni, who has an MBA from Columbia, is the CEO of “COAST,” a scientifically engineered natural and holistic supplement that replaces things in your body the toxins of alcohol take away. A byproduct of that is it will help you feel better the next day.

Picerni partnered with two friends from Basking Ridge, New Jersey; attorney and COO Lou Formisano and mad scientist Chris Roselle, who is a PhD candidate (Cancer Immunology) at the University of Pennsylvania and has a master’s in chemistry from Lehigh University. They want to keep you healthy but understand the reality of people having an active social life, which includes knocking down drinks after work.

“Alcohol is causing a lot more damage than just hangovers,” Picerni said while touting the need for COAST. “Why is there nothing to address that? We’ve tried to create a more holistic solution to combat the issue.”

There is a lot of science backing COAST on their website (coastdrink.com), and quite frankly, the effects of drinking on your body are frightening. You don’t see too many healthy bums living under the bridge, do you?

Alcohol is a Class 1 Carcinogen that our bodies have no natural storage for and causes irreversible damage to your cells. Without a place to put it, your body tries to get rid of it as fast as possible. That draws resources from the rest of your body. As a result, you get tired, your speech starts to slur, and your motor skills begin to diminish. Sound familiar?

The net result of your body working overtime at night is a lot of pain the next morning.
A 2-oz serving of COAST, about the size of a 5-Hour Energy drink, helps convert those toxins into acidic acid, which your body easily gets rid of when you urinate. No longer compelled to fight, the pain your body would typically experience the next morning is reduced.

Even if you weren’t drinking, COAST has plenty of ingredients to help flush all the toxins from your body. It’s gaining popularity amongst people that workout in gyms, helping their bodies recover faster.

I’m as skeptical as the next guy, and my days of suffering from hangovers are over, so maybe I’m not their target demographic. But my cousin Tommy is. He insists it helps you feel better, but it’s not a hangover cure.

Hey, what if it really works?

Paul DiSclafani, a Massapequa resident, is a 2018 Press Club of Long Island award winning columnist and an Anton Media Group contributor since 2016.

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