More New Year Resolutions I Intend To Keep

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My brother participates in his wife’s family tradition every Christmas Eve, in which they all write down a resolution for the coming year and place it in a jar. Next year, they review each resolution to see how many were kept. Some are funny, others heartfelt. Either way, the goal is to keep that resolution and be proud of it the next year.

Nationally, millions of people make New Year’s resolutions they have every intention of keeping. Trouble is, after a few weeks, most have been dismissed or forgotten. More than 30 percent of people vow to eat better, lose weight and exercise more, but most of those goals are never met.

So, what happened? We were all so gung-ho and motivated on Dec. 31. Where did we go wrong? Most people who joined gyms stopped going once the weather got nice, or when they woke up in traction after working with a personal trainer. I’m sure if you research the different weight loss programs, most have more success stories in March than they do in August.

Let’s be honest, after eating junk food most of your life, did you really eat healthier in 2018? Why, oh why, did Drake’s Cakes ever start making Devil Dogs and Ring-Dings again?

After careful thought and research, I found that you need to create realistic expectations in your resolutions. Last year, in this column, I presented several New Year’s Resolutions that I really intended to keep. I’m happy to report, I was able to avoid temptation all year long and not break any of my 2018 resolutions:

• I did not surrender to temptation and join a gym. I pass three or four everyday on the way to work, but never once did I stop in and sign up.

• I did not lose any weight. I’m still at the same basic weight I was on Dec. 31. Granted, I’m still overweight, but it’s important to have goals, isn’t it?

• I did not eat healthier over the course of 2018, unless you count adding asparagus (ugh) and Brussels sprouts (double-ugh) to my very limited vegetable intake, I basically ate the same things I’ve been eating for the last five decades.

• I did not learn a new skill. I’m happy with my knowledge about how things work in the world. I’m still going to have to take my car to a mechanic to change the oil.

So, what about 2019? Here is another set of resolutions I am sure I’ll be able to keep:

Procrastinate More.

I vow to bring procrastination to a new level in 2019. Turns out, if you can get a little done at a time, people let you get away with things sometimes. Of course, you must come through in the end. After all, doesn’t the end justify the means? Talk about a stress reliever.

Spend My Children’s Inheritance.

I vow to spend as much money as I want in 2019 on whatever I want. No more saving for the future, the future is here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not buying a jet or a private island, but I am going to live for today. Yesterday is in the past and tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Not Binge-Watch Anything.

I resolve to avoid binge-watching any TV series on Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime. I will not spend an entire weekend watching shows on HBO, Showtime or Starz. If I want to watch a series, I’ll watch a few at a time. Who has the free time or stamina to watch 12 hours of the same TV show in one sitting? I’ll bet most binge-watchers will admit to falling asleep somewhere along the way and missing something.

So, best of luck to all of you in 2019 in your quest to keep all your resolutions. Of course, I’m going to start mine right after the New Year’s Day Honeymooners marathon
is over.

Paul DiSclafani, a Massapequa resident, is a 2018 Press Club of Long Island award winning columnist and an Anton Media Group contributor since 2016.

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